who are these parents, and how may I most conveniently kill them?


File this under “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?” Back in the day, we were expected to do two things in k-garten: (1) not pee on the floor, and (2) distinguish our right hand from our left. I very clearly recall mixing up my hands, but that was because I was testing my teacher. She failed. A tale for another day, perhaps, but the point is that if some freaking posse of parents had gotten it into their tiny heads to ask for the privilege of overseeing more homework, another larger and quite violent posse of parents would have arisen to thrash the first posse of parents. And my mother would have led the charge, I guarantee it.



  1. Reply
    Mark Kotzin January 14, 2014

    Wait…. You weren’t supposed to pee on the floor? Mrs. Mallophaga (it was really Mrs. Kallop, but autocorrect just changed it to a much funnier name, so I’m leaving it) never told me that. Now I think I failed Kindergarten! Drat you, Emily, and damn you Mrs. Mallophaga!

  2. Reply
    Emily January 25, 2014

    Mark, you big lovable failure. Just kidding. Mrs. Mallophaga wanted to keep you all to herself for another year.

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