sunday mourning.

I give myself three days to cry, to grieve,

to listen (yet again) to another’s point of view,

to wear my heart resolutely on my sleeve,

or a black silk ribbon–that will have to do.

mourn with me, my friend; I’ll mourn with you.


  1. Reply
    Marisa Wright June 15, 2014

    This whole situation just makes me sad. And not for the reasons one might think. I am not a member of OW. I do not want the priesthood. I am a very traditional woman in the realm of gender roles. Always have been. Always will be. It makes me happy.
    But here is the kicker. A question has been asked. Just that, a question. Instead of a straight yes or no, a threat of excommunication has been handed down. Since when did asking a question merit this level of hostility? Now I suppose. That is why I am so so very sad. I like sitting in church with people who are similar to me and who are different than me. Now my fear is that in the years to come when I look around in the pews all I will see is blonde, stay at home moms with 5 kids who grew up in Utah and don’t ever ask tough questions. What a borring room of church goers that will be. . .

    • Reply
      Emily June 15, 2014

      Well, at least we’re sad together, Marisa. I’m descended from many a pious émigré who was invited to “leave” (usually the country, usually under duress) in order to follow her religious bliss. So being invited to leave the LDS church because I have doubts and do not enjoy the most popular flavor of obedience feels oddly familiar. BUT I DON’T LIKE IT. And most reasons given for excommunication don’t hold any water with me at all. Sure, if you’re a child-toucher, or you decided to defraud the retirees in your stake of their life savings, then maybe you can consider your membership forfeit. If you walk with a bunch of fellow seekers to the Tabernacle and ask to be admitted to the Priesthood session? Uh, you get to stay, sister. Actually, you HAVE to stay.

  2. Reply
    Jerilyn June 15, 2014

    Thank you, Marisa. It feels good to read those words.

  3. Reply
    Karen Smith June 15, 2014

    I faced a similar situation just a few years ago. Although my mother was LDS, my father was Catholic, and the rules of the time dictated that I was raised as a Catholic from the cradle. I went to catechism, wore my white dresses for First Communion and Confirmation, dutifully volunteered, served donuts, played music for mass every week from the time I was 14 and sang in the cathedral choir until I was 48 years old. Like a beaten wife, I held out hope that if I was faithful and patient, the attitude toward the value of women as church members would surely change, because all that needed to happen was the statement of an “infallible” pope. When it became apparent that it was not going to happen, I felt I had no choice but to make the statement of not only leaving my church, but indeed my culture. Not an easy move, but the right move for me and many other catholic women. I understand your grief and sincerely hope it does not come to that for you.

    • Reply
      Emily June 17, 2014

      Karen, I also hope it doesn’t come to that. I’m 46. I’ve been waiting for a long time. Waiting, waiting, waiting. I suspect I can wait some more. I wonder what will happen when my children realize that their mother has a very complicated relationship with the church. That time is fast approaching — they don’t stay oblivious forever.

      Anyway, I appreciate your comment and wish you the very best. You followed your conscience. What else can a person do?

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