quelle lame.

 First of all, I’d like to start with an apology for not being able to offer individual feedbackas a response to your query. I really wish I could offer each person who takes the time and the emotional energy to send me a query a personalized response, but if I did, I wouldn’t have the time to properly represent my current clients. As you’ve probably guessed by this point, we’ve determined that, unfortunately, we don’t believe Folio is the right agency to represent your work right now. If you queried about a nonfiction project, the most likely reason we decided not to take it on was because as an author, your platform isn’t big enough yet. (If you’d like to learn more about platform, why it’s so important, and what you can do to build yours, the best place to start is to watch the video on Folio’s website here: http://foliolit.com/nytimesbestseller/ ) Once you’ve watched that, click on the link below the video for more free training on platform building from Folio client Brendon Burchard. If you queried about a novel, then the most likely reason we’ve decided to pass is that you didn’t tell us enough about what the book is actually ABOUT. (That’s probably why we pass on 20% of fiction queries.) For the other 80%, though, the old cliche holds true– it’s not you, it’s us. The decision to represent fiction is highly subjective, and for whatever reason, the subject about which you’re writing just didn’t inspire that aha! moment an agent needs to take on a novel. Given market trends, we’ve had to become extraordinarily selective with first fiction. As either a novelist or a nonfiction author, though, if you’re getting form letter rejects from most or all of the agents you’re querying (or if they’re just not responding at all) there’s actually some good news: chances are the problem is with your query letter itself, and not the underlying book. For some tips on how to improve your query letter, click here: http://foliolit.com/submissions/basic-information-on-query-letters/ Again, though, I’d like to thank you so much for the opportunity to consider representing your book. Stories can change the world, and every one of us has an important one to tell. I wish you all the best in finding the right home for your story.

See you on the bestseller list,
Scott
P.S. If you’ve received a duplicate of this email, I apologize. Our query system is still relatively new, and we’re still working out all of the kinks.

this is utterly lame. it’s so lame it’s almost sweet–as if this agent were entreating me to simultaneously reject him on the grounds of his utter lameness. which I have done, per his explicit invitation.

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